Shoulda Coulda Woulda

I would love to be able to go back in time to give these babies a heads up about a lot of decisions that we made through the years. (Heck I'd love to go back 5 years and give a few notes while I'm at it) Sure, we shoulda coulda woulda done things differently had we known then what we know now...but dwelling on those thoughts helps nothing. It's not what happened and we can’t go back, we can only move forward. 

Danielle and Nathan Abbott - Prom 2005

Today we have so much access to viewing portions of other people’s lives and it can perpetuate feelings of regret, especially considering social media generally highlights the best parts, not the struggles. 

Do you ever feel frozen by regret? It’s as if we feel like we CAN change what happened if we obsess over our missteps enough. Give yourself some grace. You did the best you could at the time and now you can do something different. You can change your trajectory toward the life you really want. (The status quo can feel anxiety inducing and comfy at the same time!)

Watching the movie The Butterfly Effect as a teenager completely scarred me impacted the way I check any feelings of regret that pop up. If things were different, would I have my kids? Would I have my friends? Would I be happy? Would I have found this work that I love? With those in mind... I'm good. No need to change things from the past.

Since no one sees what is happening with our money it's easy to ignore and put off making changes for another day. Unlike other areas of your life, no one is asking you:

How is your money going? 

How are you feeling about your money today?

Have you made the financial progress you were hoping for this year? 

What are your money goals for this year? 

When you're feeling money regrets, try asking yourself those questions above. When you have specific goals to achieve and you start taking action toward them on a regular basis (though maybe scary at first) it will be worth it and you'll save yourself the shoulda coulda woulda.